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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248923">Smitten as a Kitten</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedryl/pseuds/Benedryl'>Benedryl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Humor, Insecure Wade Wilson, Just Add Kittens, M/M, Meet-Cute, Precious Peter Parker, Secret Identity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:09:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedryl/pseuds/Benedryl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>All evidence points to the fact that Deadpool is a cold blooded mercenary unconcerned with ethics and morals. After finding out he may be stalking Peter, Peter is desperate to stay away. </p><p>But then, he sees Deadpool with a kitten and it all seems implausible. A supposedly deadly and insane man has no business looking that cute cuddling with a kitten. </p><p>In the end, Peter ends up a little smitten, (with the kitten of course, who else?)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker/Wade Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>488</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Smitten as a Kitten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Deadpool had been described to Peter in many words, but ‘heart-warming’ was never one of them. It certainly wasn’t his first impression.</p><p>Peter had been out paroling the streets late one Autumn night. It had been a string of the usual misdemeanors. A thief trying to steal some lady’s purse, some punks bullying a small kid on his way home, and what had looked like a serious drug deal, but was actually some teens smoking weed in the park. They had seen Spider-Man and been psyched out of their minds, so much so that they had invited him to join them. Peter had, of course, quickly stuttered out a no, knowing that Aunt May would strangle him if he partook.</p><p>Now, he sat on the roof of his favorite coffee shop (possibly because of the name, ‘Deja Brew’). The moon and streetlights combined did a good job illuminating the streets, making it easier for Peter to see around even despite his night vision. Even still, he barely saw the black and red suited man slip into the alleyway. The only thing which alerted him at all was the scream which echoed through the streets a minute later.</p><p>Peter sprung from his seat and sprinted across the rooftops, throwing in flips between the gaps. He landed silently, and squat-walked to the edge. Yes, the last part was as inelegant as it sounded. But he didn’t want a potential threat to be alerted to his presence.</p><p>Looking over, a young girl cowered on the ground, a man was pressed against the wall, and a suited man was standing in the middle of it.</p><p>He wore a suit of mainly red, and Peter was slightly peeved at the way it seemed to emulate Spider-Man. Especially since the man did not appear to have a similar set of morals to Peter. He was pressing the man against the wall for God’s sake, with a hand around his throat. Having seen enough, he decided to drop from the roof into the middle of the scene.</p><p>“Hey! Stop that!”</p><p>The suited mans grip on the scrappy guy tightened as his eyes widened at Peter.</p><p>He squealed, “Spidey?”</p><p>
  <em>Peter, he has two guns on his hip, two swords across his back, and a couple unidentified weapons up and down his legs. </em>
</p><p>Peter tensed at the recognition, as well as the information Karen had given him. He hated when a potential enemy had foreknowledge on him. The potential that they would know about his secret identity, no matter how hard Peter tried to keep it hidden, was terrifying.</p><p>The suited man suddenly sprung forward energetically, seemingly forgetting about the man he had been grappling with.</p><p>Peter immediately shifted backwards.</p><p>“I have been dying to meet you. Literally, a couple of times.”</p><p>What?</p><p>The woman on the ground looked astounded in the man’s change in character.</p><p>He went on a ramble when no response came from Peter, “I’ve stalked out a couple of your haunts, asked the Avengers, although I affectionately call them the Spidey-bunch, even walked around the streets asking about you. I just wanted to say- “</p><p>Peter cut him off, officially freaked out. This man had been stalking him? He said he knew the Avengers though, so maybe he was a good guy.</p><p>That thought was immediately scrapped when the man who had once been cornered against the brick made a break for it.</p><p>He ran down the alley, but he didn’t make it out without injury. Faster than Peter could account for, he heard metal being drawn with a <em>schink, </em>and then a scream as a blade impaled itself in the man’s leg.</p><p>“Fuck!” the man yelled, but still managed to limp out of the alley. The blood which had dripped to the concrete seemed especially vivid in the moonlight.</p><p>The suited man was overly casual as he turned back to Peter. He was too casual for it not to be a repeated gesture. He shook it off too casually, and was looking at Peter with a look like, ‘what can you do?’</p><p>Before he could speak again, Peter shot a web across the man’s mouth, and then another to spry the man across the wall. Did him right, to do that to that poor man.</p><p>The man in red seemed shocked, before staring him down with puppy dog eyes, like Peter was somehow in the wrong. Peter shook it off and turned down to the girl on the ground. She was shaking like a leaf. Tears collected in her eyes but seemed reluctant to fall. Faintly, he wondered if she’s in shock.</p><p>He crouched down before her, holding out his hand placatingly.</p><p>“Hi.” He started awkwardly, “I promise I’m not gonna hurt you.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. You’re Spider-Man.”</p><p>Peter blushed under the mask. Sometimes he forgot he was a more well-known figure now that he associated with the Avengers. He had been a solo artist for so long, only recognizable by his more devout followers. Now, well, he had a bit of a reputation.</p><p>Still, he was terrible as ever talking with victims.</p><p>“Um, shall I lead you from the alley?”</p><p>She nodded, and he helped her up. Hand awkwardly supporting her waist, he helped her limp towards the street. Once there, he helped her settle back on a bench. He briefly looked her over for injuries, only noticing a few minor scratches. If anything, with the way she was still shaking, he thought she might be in shock.</p><p>“Karen, would you call the police?”</p><p>
  <em>Of course. </em>
</p><p>The girl looked at him like he was crazy.</p><p>“My name’s Renae.”</p><p>Peter sheepishly raised his hand to rub the back of his neck.</p><p>“Um, yeah, I was just talking to my AI, artificial intelligence I mean. I guess it’s kind of hard to explain.”</p><p>She looked no less assured that he wasn’t insane.</p><p>“So… the police are coming? I’ll just head out then?” he asked, gesturing over his shoulder.</p><p>She nodded, “Um… thanks.”</p><p>Peter tried for an easy-going smile, then whisked off to the roof top. He waited until the police had picked the girl up. He was to anxious to try and make small talk with the girl, but he wasn’t dumb enough to leave her alone. After glancing to make sure the suited man was still attached to the brick, Peter whisked away.</p><p>It seemed like a job well done. Only one mystery remained: Who exactly was that man in the black and red suit?</p><p>---</p><p>“You met Deadpool?”</p><p>“Deadpool?”</p><p>“Maniacal son of a bitch who won’t shut up?”</p><p>“I mean, yeah I suppose.”</p><p>For the way he had just described Deadpool, he seemed largely unconcerned that Peter had interacted with the man. Mr. Stark was just calmly pouring himself a scotch on the rocks. He swirled the glass before taking a slow, measured sip.</p><p>He sighed, “Listen kid, you gotta avoid the guy.”</p><p>“Yeah I figured that, he kind of inferred that he’d been stalking me.”</p><p>Tony froze, “Stalking?”</p><p>Peter shrugged, aiming for casual, even though he was somewhat freaked out.</p><p>“Yeah. Said he knew where I liked to hang out. Said he had even asked you about me?”</p><p>Tony grumbled under his breath, “Fucking asshole.”</p><p>He stalked over to the digital mainframe and began rapidly typing. After a tense couple of minutes, featuring Peter standing fidgeting awkwardly by the bar, Tony let out a groan.</p><p>“Of course he did,” said Tony.</p><p>Peter looked at him confused.</p><p>“I just scanned through Jarvis’s back log from the last couple of months. Usually, Jarvis manages to deal with any outside threats independent of my involvement. It’s complicated, but there’s a whole system of firewalls and cybersecurity I created when I was on a sleepless bender seven years back. I couldn’t even explain it now.”</p><p>Sometimes, Peter forgot how much of a genius Mr. Stark was. He had managed to program the most advanced AI known to man while drunk?</p><p>“Basically, the AI only pays attention to threats coming from foreign IP addresses, and large presences from within the building. But I guess your buddy Deadpool managed to sneak in through a metaphoric backdoor and leak our files on you.”</p><p>“So, you’re telling me, he has all your information on me.”</p><p>Tony looked sheepish, “Well, just your record and stats. I don’t keep secret identities on here, for obvious reasons.”</p><p>“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Peter slunk over to the fancy white lounger and collapsed back onto it. He covered his face with his hands and groaned. Of course this was happening. Of course somebody had all the information which could lead them directly to him. God dammit.</p><p>“How worried should I be?” he questioned.</p><p>“How worried should you be about a military trained mercenary with an estimated kill count of 214 people with the mental stability of a fourth grader on crack?”</p><p>Peter curled inwards, “Crap.”</p><p>“Yeah. Crap indeed kid.”</p><p>A moment passes, and when Peter looks up Mr. Stark is paying attention to everything in the room except for him. He kept shifting his weight onto his toes and back, fidgeting with some mechanics from the desk. He almost looked guilty?</p><p>“I have faith in you kid. But consider calling me whenever you see him. I promise I’ll pick up.”</p><p>Peter gaped. He’d pick up? He was gonna have Mr. Stark on speed dial? Before he’d just been routed through Happy, but now he had permission to directly call the genius himself. The tension Peter had previously held seemed to fade, and he beamed.</p><p>“Mr. Stark, thank you, Mr. Stark. That is so considerate of you, sir. I can’t believe- “</p><p>Tony waved him off, “Yeah, yeah kid, it’s whatever. Just be cautious okay? You might be some mutant spider, but I swear that guy’s a cockroach.”</p><p>---  </p><p>For the next few weeks, Peter had webbed away the second he got a glimpse of the man in the red suit. It was a bit of a challenge, considering his spider tingle seemed to be broken and wouldn’t alert him whenever Deadpool was around.</p><p>Nonetheless, he had only seen the man three times, and of the times Deadpool had seemed as surprised to see him as Peter was. Maybe Peter had misinterpreted what the man had said the other day. It didn’t seem like he was trying to stalk Peter, but he knew he could never be too sure. Besides, he trusted Mr. Stark with his <em>life. </em>No way was he gonna ignore him and give some mercenary a chance. It went against everything he stood for.</p><p>However, he knew one night they would encounter each other again. It was inevitable. Peter just didn’t expect it to be during his midnight snack break.</p><p>He had changed his hideaway roof and was now chilling out on top of an apartment complex. There was a giant pile of junk in the corner, which Peter had seen as a perfect spot to hide behind. It was completely out of sight. Unless Deadpool somehow lived in this exact apartment building and had a key to the roof, Peter was confident he wouldn’t be found.</p><p>Thus, he fearlessly sat on the roof, tuning out the usual sounds of the city, and bit into the multi-layer PB&amp;J he had packed. Peanut butter and bread were both high in calories, and cheap, so May didn’t have to worry about supplementing their grocery list as much each week. Plus, it was delicious. Peter couldn’t help the slight moan as he took his first huge bite.</p><p>“Can I have a bit?”</p><p>He screamed and flew up in the air. When he landed, he scrambled back a couple feet to the other side of the roof.</p><p>There on the other side was the man he had spent the past month avoiding. Last time in the alley, he hadn’t gotten too good of a look at him, but now…</p><p>He was huge. He looked like one of those bodybuilders at the gym who never left. His outfit did have all the weapons that Karen had mentioned. And more. Way more. But mostly Peter noticed the differences. Sure, the suit looked like his, but the design was more of a sweat-soaked mesh, and the mask allowed for more expression of movement. Peter wasn’t sure why somebody would want so much personality to show in their mask, unless they lived in it or something. But most of all, he saw how the man’s posture looked like he was consciously trying to make himself look small. Unintimidating.</p><p>Peter took a deep breath and fought the urge to run away.</p><p>“Now listen,” Peter said, “stay back. I- “</p><p>Deadpool made a cutting motion across his neck, before raising a finger to his mouth, ‘be quiet.’</p><p>He silently tip-toed his way over to the corner, where the bunch of trash from assumed old tenants lay piled. Deadpool crouched down over a cardboard box. Was this a trick? Was he gonna lurch around and hold him at gunpoint? What should Peter do? Energy thrummed through his body, and he stood perched on the balls of his feet, ready to move at any second.</p><p>Deadpool reached down into the box, picked something up, and raised himself back onto his feet. Peter instinctively ducked and rolled, only to feel embarrassed when he settled, looked up, and saw…</p><p>A kitten?</p><p>And was Deadpool… talking to it?</p><p>“Awe, who’s the cutest little princess in the world?” he murmured. “Did ole Spidey scare ya? Jumping all over and screaming like that?”</p><p>He began gently petting the cat’s ears.</p><p>“Well I can promise I won’t hurt ya, and pretty Spidey over there definitely won’t. He wouldn’t hurt a fly he wouldn’t.”</p><p>The cat immediately attached itself to Wade and looked unwilling to let go. Peter wasn’t sure if it was the soft words, or the body heat, but the cat looked strangely content. It began purring, cradled in his arms.</p><p>“Well?” asked Wade to Peter.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Wade looked at Peter like he was the crazy one for not understanding the question.</p><p>“Are ya gonna come pet her? Not like this little cutie is gonna bite ya.”</p><p>Peter hesitantly moved forward, still reluctant to be so close to the man. As he got close, he held his hand out to pet the cat when suddenly…</p><p>
  <em>ROWRRRR</em>
</p><p>He immediately pulled back, and the cat calmed down. Deadpool stared wide eyed at Peter and wasn’t it weird that his suit showed that?</p><p>Wade motioned for Peter to try again. This time, Peter put his hand out slower than the first. But as he inched closer…</p><p>
  <em>grrr </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Grrr</em>
</p><p>
  <em>GRRR</em>
</p><p>And it screeched again. Peter sighed and took a step back. Of course the cat hated him, but it liked Deadpool? The mercenary?</p><p>Then again, Deadpool was being extremely sweet with the little cat. He kept rubbing under her chin, petting her all the way from head to toe. Now that Peter was out of the picture, she seemed perfectly content to stay in Wade’s arms forever.</p><p>And Deadpool looked different too. More relaxed and content, showing a vulnerability Peter doubted many others saw in the trained killer. In fact, he looked almost sweet. Nothing like what Mr. Stark had described.</p><p>Still petting the cat, Deadpool began talking in a quiet voice, so as not to startle the kitten, “Sorry to disturb your snack.” He even looked guilty.</p><p>Peter stewed in his shock for a moment. Here he thought Deadpool may have been coming to capture or kill him, but instead he was apologizing.</p><p>He shifted his weight, “It’s no big deal, should’ve been paying more attention to my surroundings… I suppose.”</p><p>“Yeah well, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t get the wrong impression of me.”</p><p>Peter quirked an eyebrow, “Oh yeah, wouldn’t want to get the wrong idea about a man who kills for money. Who knew you were so concerned about your public image, Deadpool?”</p><p>He looked shell-shocked, “OMG, Spider-Man knows who I am.”</p><p>“I mean, you insinuated you were stalking me, so I asked around about you.”</p><p>Deadpool let out a whine, “Stalking you? Nooooo. I would stab anyone who dared stalk you!”</p><p>Peter winced. That wasn’t very reassuring.</p><p>“I’m your biggest fan Spidey!”</p><p>Well that was certainly a twist.</p><p> “What?”</p><p>Deadpool seemed to be growing more excited as he realized Peter was sticking around to talk this time. He launched into talking with the same amount of energy Peter usually reserved for battle.</p><p>“I have bought all the limited-edition merchandise I could possibly find on the internet. And anything I couldn’t find, I made myself! You should see it, I have a sweatshirt I embroidered, and a stuffed figurine I sewed from a sock (a clean one, mind you). I even have some memorabilia from some of your more historic fights, although my favorite is a coin from the purse of some grandma you helped across the street. So cute! So wholesome!”</p><p>Peter looked at him in disbelief, “You’re telling me you stalked me not to kill me, but because you’re my biggest fan?”</p><p>The kitten suddenly let out an adorable yawn from its place cradled in Deadpool’s arms. Deadpool shot a glare over to Peter and shushed him, saying, “Don’t be loud you’ll wake her up.”</p><p>He then pouted whilst continuing to pet the cat.</p><p>Peter was in absolute disbelief. This man was the antithesis of a mercenary. He was practically a teddy bear, that’s how sweet he was. How was everyone so misguided. Except what about…</p><p>“The alley.” Peter said, “What exactly happened in the alley?”</p><p>Deadpool switched his attention from the kitten to Peter. “The alley? Oh, with the rapist?”</p><p>Deadpool’s mouth twisted in self-deprecation, “Yeah, I wish I hadn’t gotten distracted by your presence either. I felt so bad about it forever. Was gonna make him pay but ya know,” he shrugged, “priorities.”</p><p>Peter ignored the way he felt himself blush when Deadpool said he was his priority. So what? The attention was nice.</p><p>“He was a rapist?”</p><p>Deadpool looked at him like he was crazy, “Duh. You think I’d just attack some random guy in a back alley? Not exactly my favorite haunt Spidey.”</p><p>Deadpool went back to whispering to the kitten, even going so far as to press a gentle kiss on her forehead.</p><p>Peter scratched the back of his head, unsure what to do. He almost felt as if he should apologize for his misconceptions. Obviously, Deadpool wasn’t the man everyone thought he was. He wasn’t some heartless killer. It seemed he at least had some reasoning left in his head. He wasn’t insane. Maybe just a little misguided. Just look at him now, he looked almost adorable all curled up with the kitten. It made Peter’s heart warm. He ached for the man, wondering if anyone ever gave him a chance to show them who he really was. Maybe that’s all he needed: a chance.</p><p>Peter needed to head off home, he had school in the morning. But before he left, he said one last thing to Deadpool, “Feel free to meet with me some night.” He blushed, “We can, work together?”</p><p>Deadpool stood stunned but managed a shallow nod.</p><p>Managing a simple wave, Peter turned to the edge of the apartment complex, released a web, and swung away. Still, just as he left, he heard a sharp squeal of excitement.</p><p>“Spider-Man wants to hang out with me!”</p><p>Peter gripped harder on the web. He couldn’t help his own smile from breaking out across his face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I came up with this prompt when my own cat was cuddling on my lap, and could not get it out of my head. I can't help imagining that Wade would love that little kitten to pieces. Thank you all so much for reading my fluffy little indulgence!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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